Excerpt for Pencils Made This Scar by Steven Saus, available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Pencils Made This Scar


By Steven Saus




We only see glimpses of other people's lives.


In this collection of over 60 works of flash fiction, you will see into the lives of monsters and saints, homemakers, warriors, and astronauts.


Nearly every page is a complete story, a brief glimpse into the things and events that make us who and what we are.


I hope you enjoy them.





© 2010 Steven Saus

The author of these stories worked hard on them. If you enjoyed them, please come to http://www.stevensaus.com. By purchasing this work, you become a patron of the arts and support independent authors bringing you quality entertainment.

When I was a kid, I loved Indiana Jones.

I would walk around with my shirts unbuttoned to my pasty navel, carrying a string for a whip.  I ran around the schoolyard humming the theme song.

I also loved my Luke Skywalker Underoos.   When friends came over, I would sometimes show them off, coming downstairs wearing nothing but the orange underwear.

That was decades ago.

Yesterday, a friend asked me what I was going to be for Halloween.

"I don't know," I replied.  But my hand fidgeted with my shirt buttons, and I swear my underwear suddenly turned bright orange.



Uncle Al smelled of vaporub as he poked at me.  "How's my little girl?"

My young voice squeaked angrily at him.  "I. Am. A. Boy."

Al ran his finger through his thick black hair.  "Okay, little girl."  He reached out, and I felt a brief tug. "Gotcher nose!"

"I'm a boy!  And that's your finger, not my nose."  

I smiled.  "I've got one too, Uncle."  I reached towards his scalp, then put my hand in my pocket.  "Guess what I've got, Uncle."

He shrieked, feeling the air cold against his suddenly bald scalp.

"Oh," I said.  "You figured it out."



She smiled - brightness slashing through the dense music of the bar, transforming him into an instant mass of cliches.

An awkward smile creased his lips, brain racing on a wave of adrenaline, considering and rejecting a thousand trite lines.

He stared at her, wondering what the best approach would be. Beads of sweat formed on his nose; his heavy glasses started to slide down his face.

They were adjusted by a nervous finger as he started to walk across the bar.

He still had no idea what he'd say. But then her lover returned, so it didn't matter anyway.


As a child I read illustrated books about asteroid starships.  I dreamed of living in generation ships €“ islands of humanity in the void.  And now I do.

A cylinder is our artificial sun.  Fields of grains feed us and regrown our oxygen.  The asteroid's spin provides gravity. Imagine a multiracial Rockwell painting in space.  We'll make a new world like in the books.

The books left out the undead horde writhing over the planet we left behind.  The other ships have already succumbed, signals vanishing after a few transmitted screams.

Our ship is uninfected.

But oh God, am I hungry.


A long time ago, Best Beloved, when the tree people returned from their vacation, they were very tired.  They'd gone to the Bahamas, and it was a very long walk back.

So when the tree people got home, they wanted to sleep.  But they couldn't.  The mostly hairless apes that lived next door kept them up all night long.  The apes were making babies really loudly.

So the next day, while the apes slept peacefully, breathing clearly, the tree people returned the favor.  That night, the apes' noses were too clogged to make babies.

And the tree people slept peacefully.


"She's a half hour late."

I shrugged  and gave him a sheepish look as I lounged on the porch banister. "Maybe she's stuck in traffic, man."

"It's nine at night. There's no fucking traffic."

He paced around his porch some more, smoking cigarettes one after another, flicking the butts into the street.

I jumped when he punched the other side of the old banister.   "Darrin, man, calm down. She'll get here."

He pushed past me and went upstairs. The sounds of some metal band vibrated the windows, and I waited for his girlfriend, watching the cigarette cherries cool into carbon.


"So Sandy," Gerard said, "you say that Kut-Haran isn't a good husband."

"He doesn't give us krat!" the female kobold screeched.  The studio audience roared approval.  

Gerard pointed to stage left.  "Well, here he is!"

Kut-Haran was not a kobold.  He was a nine foot tall troll.  The studio chair broke under his weight.  This episode Gerard would have to keep it calm.

"Okay, Sandy," Gerard said, but she was screeching obscenities at Kut-Haran.  The crowd shouted, chanting Gerard's name.  When the troll grabbed its club, Gerard buried his head in his hands.

He didn't get paid enough for this.


Before, there was screaming.

The screams were in my head.  It was all too much. Keeping up the house.  Having the newest car.  The stupid forms at work.  Her marathon shopping sprees. The kids deciding their new hobby was too boring after we'd rearranged our schedules.  Working twelve hour days to afford it all.

Even the dog growled at me.

Then the bum bit me.  Twelve hours later, and I'm infected like him.  It's simple now.  I hunger for human flesh, and I kill.  And I eat.

The screams are outside my head now.

But my mind is at peace.


The recipe amused her:  "As this homey dessert bakes..."  It was appropriate, in an overdone kind of way.  He had been gone for just over a year. He would appreciate a little care package.

The scoop whuffed a small puff of flour onto her mother's old cookbook.  When she cooked, her mother's memory was close.  She could almost hear her voice.

"Sissy, get all the ingredients together before you start cooking," it chided.  Fine.

Sugar.  Eggs.  Baking powder.  Metal file.  Chocolate.  Vanilla.

Her son called from the other room.  "Mommy, when will Daddy come home?"

"Soon, baby.  Real soon."


It's not my fault.  I didn't do my schoolwork because Tommy McDonald kept flicking my neck with his pencil.  Then the teacher yelled at me when I told him to stop.

And I didn't put the monster in my closet.

I crawled into bed next to Mom.  She didn't wake up until Dad started yelling again.  He said I was too old to be scared of monsters, and smacked me around for crying.  

Mom didn't say anything.  She didn't stop him.

Before I left their room, their closet door opened.  A big fanged mouth smiled at me.

I smiled back.


She collects the fee from the nightstand.  He rubs his ring finger, counting ribs as her shirt slides over them.

"I gotta run," she says.  "I have a exam in biology to study for."

"I had an exam at the hospital yesterday," he blurts.

She giggles.  "What grade did you get?"

He remembers the scan full of unexpected metastatic dots.

"They don't give grades."  He hopes his smile seems natural.

After she leaves, he rolls upright, lights a cigarette - why stop now? - and stares at the door.

He opens the nightstand drawer, removes the book, and desperately begins to cram.


Smoke billowed from the ship's wreckage.  Captain Saunders and his crew baked on the sun blasted island beach.  In the near distance, the pirate ship sailed back out to sea.

"This is a right mess, Cap'n," his first mate said.  He stroked the grey stubble of his beard.  "Those pirates marooned us here, wrecked our ship, and stole all our cargo!" He stomped his boot in the sand.  "And them pirates was just women!"

Captain Saunders sighed.  "They stole more than our cargo, Smitty."  He touched the ragged hole in his chest and smiled.

"She stole far more than that."


You scream over the echoes of the bomb:  "Call 911!"

Two rescue breaths, just like in the book, move down.  Find the xyphoid, ignore the twisted shape of his ribs and push push.   

Ignore that this kid had shoved in front of you, ignore his shrapnel and his burned flesh on your hands.  Push push.  Move back up, head-tilt-chin-thrust.  

He's young, no lines on his face, then the sirens and wounded wail in chorus, remember breathe, breathe.   Fingers on his neck, feel for a pulse, feel for breath on your cheek.  C'mon, any pulse.   

Just a little heartbeat.

Just one.


When we dated, her lips brushed my ear, saying:  "I don't want to get into anything complicated."  Now, one lip hangs decomposing from her ruined face.  

I stumble back over the playroom's plastic chairs.  I had pretended nothing was wrong, had imagined she was happy.  Our son's first birthday pictures show her flat expression and storebought birthday cake.  She - it, zombies are it - drops his gnawed arm.  

Trapped in the corner, I can't run from reality anymore.  I level the shotgun.

"Keep it simple, baby."

I fire one barrel through my sobs and her head.  

I save one barrel for me.


I ran as fast as my stubbly little hooves would go.  Gary said my running was "higgledly-piggledly", but Gary's dead now.

My tree had fallen.  It wasn't strong enough. Stronger than Gary's straw hut, strong enough to give me a chance to run, but that was all.

Ralph stared wide-eyed at me through the window of his brick house.

"Let me in!"

A tear ran down Ralph's cheek.  He didn't open the door.

The wolf's breath was hot on my neck.

"Your choice, little piggy.  I'll eat you any way you want."

I tried to choose something quick.


The antiseptic hospital stink makes it through the red rubber nose.  He shuffles faster, seeing her outside his son's room.  His ex-wife's distinctive braid swings over a black clad shoulder, a katana across her back.

He yells over the flapping of his oversize shoes.  "A ninja?  In a hospital?"

"He likes ninjas!"

"That was a year ago!  Clowns make everyone happy!"

He realized that wasn't true as she hit him.

Later, the police handcuffed them outside the room.  Bobby beamed out, cancer forgotten at the spectacle of clowns fighting ninjas.

His real smile was far bigger than the painted one.


I found Maria by the airlock, avoiding hyperventilation by puffing into the sack.  Her hair swirled in the spaceship's low gravity.  

She gasped "It's starting!" before breathing into the paper again.

"What's starting?" I asked.

She pointed at the porthole.  I looked out, into the black.  "I don't see..." I said, then I did.

The moon, still dark and new from Earth's viewpoint, showed a different face to our spaceship.  We saw the far side of the moon.  It shone bright and full.

Maria's hand, now more of a paw, fell on my shoulder.

Behind me, I heard a growl.


The sea of bones pounded the gate below.  Jonah looked through his helm at the mass of skeletons - all the world's dead, rallied against the kingdom - and fought the urge to piss his pants.

"We are so screwed," he muttered, fingers tightening around his swordhilt.  

His shieldmate Boyd shrugged and took another drink from his flask.

"I told ya to f'in drink first."  Boyd wobbled a little in bravado or drunkeness, Jonah couldn't tell.  "Just gotta get in there and start swingin'."

Jonah shook his head.  "How long 'till you become one of them like that?"

"Only about three seconds before you, my friend!"  Boyd's smile faltered.  "Only three seconds, mate."


The demons came from the campfire's smoke.  Jonah woke at Reyald's scream.  Boyd slept until Reyald's head bounced off his stomach.

"Last time I let Reyald stand watch," Boyd grumbled, drawing his sword.

"You know," Jonah said as he parried a claw, "I think that someone wants us dead."  He thrust upward, drenching himself in demon blood.

Boyd dodged a tentacle.  "Nah."  He stabbed the tentacle before it could grab Jonah.

"Thanks," Jonah replied, pouring holy water on a demon.  "But you disagree?"  

Boyd sliced open the last demon's abdomen.  "Yeah."  He sat down.  "I think someone wanted these demons dead."


She lays in the motel bed with him, afternoon sun hot on bare skin.

Two rings lay on the nightstand.  Hers is a frilly feminine one her husband chose.  His is a thick, simple, plain band.  He told his wife what style of ring he'd wear.

He didn't make a decision on his own after that.  Not until they met.

She kisses the rough stubble on his cheek, and wakes him.  She carefully does not say - refuses to say - "Time to go."

They kiss, and they dress.  She will leave her ring on the nightstand, and wonders if he will.


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