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The Brutally Honest Guide to Sur“Thriving” in the

New Economy ©

By Gregory P. LaMonaca

Introduction

Fear, anxiety, depression, desperateness, alarm, embarrassment, anger, loss of control, panic. Any of these words sound familiar? Do you have other words that didn’t make my list? We are in the midst of one of the worst economies since the Great Depression. I don’t know about you but the Depression was something that I thought only existed in history books. It was a time when things were very bad and caused my distant relatives to have to sell their possessions as well as their losing their jobs. While this was a very real reality, with time and distance we can’t fully appreciate what they must have gone through. Many of you reading this are closer to the feelings of that time. Maybe you had parents who lived through it or you yourself lived through it. The closer that you are to having actually lived through the Great Depression, the more powerful the feelings, memories and emotions you have.

Regardless of where you were on the memory scale above, the one thing that we all have in common is that we are NOW living through a time that was only rivaled by the Great Depression. How can that be? How can a Country that has evolved technologically by leaps and bounds since that time fall once again? That question unfortunately was not asked by most of us. For me I was taught the basics that have been ingrained in me as far back as I can recall. Save money,

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dollar cost average, diversify, invest in stocks, invest in real estate and work hard. If you do these things, you are almost certain to succeed. What went wrong then? What went terribly wrong? The answers to those questions are the reasons for the words used in the opening sentence. Millions of people throughout the World had age-old beliefs turned around overnight. These beliefs were as strong for me as my belief that if I drop a rock out a window it will fall to the ground. Will it though? I don’t know any more. Most people I spoke with and counseled described a numbness that came over them.

As bad as the last few years have been, there lies hidden within all of us the additional fear of the unknown for the future. Are we out of the fog yet? Is there another economic Tornado in our path? The answer to this is simple, isn’t it? Simply read the papers, listen to radio and the many financial television shows. They have the answers right? Well, if you relied on most of their advice in the last few years, you would be exactly where you are now. This time around is different though, right? I think not. If you spent one day writing down what each of the many different “experts” are saying about the economy and their advice to do well this time around, you would find an assortment of radically different ideas, beliefs and suggestions. If you were not confused before you began listening, you no doubt would be when done.

OK, then what do you do? How do you make sense out of this tumultuous time? I believe there is a true path to get us back in the right direction. If you are looking for a get rich quick scheme, you have the wrong place. Brutally Honest is a system designed to combat traditional self help programs by being “real”istic.

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Being “realistic” has in its core, being “real”. This guide is designed to give you a radically different approach to not only “Surviving” in this economy but

“Sur”thriving.”

What is Brutally Honest?

As indicated within the “Brutally Honest Life Management Journal,” the following is a summary of the system:

“Brutally Honest is the sum of the authors’ life experiences, work, passion, and obstacles we have collectively overcome. We designed a system to combat the type of failure with mainstream self-help products. Brutally Honest consists of a revolutionary three-step process.

In the first step, you will begin by narrowing in on, defining, and creating a crystal clear picture of what it is YOU need, and NOT what society says you need. This is the critical difference, the answer to which has transformed the lives of the authors’ countless clients, family and friends.

Step one, the “Breakdown Phase”®, will lead you through an intense, yet magical journey, into the deepest reaches of your being, where you will

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ultimately reach your “Souls Core”®. It is at this magical and illusive place where individuals are finally “alone with THEIR thoughts,” where stereotypes don’t exist, peer pressure is gone, guilt, marketing, social pressures all disappear. Through this descent, you will seek out and find your “Soul.” Your soul will then be your guide, your partner and your unconditional friend and mentor.

Once you arrive at “Souls Core,” it is here, and only here, where you will be ready to develop YOUR individual and personal “Brutally Honest Target Zones”®. “Target Zones” are the individual’s personalized goals, which form figurative “targets,” which they will aim for, seek out and unite with. Once at the “Souls Core,” the Brutally Honest system now moves into overdrive in assisting individuals to clearly define THEIR “Brutally Honest Life Management System”®.

Lastly, once the life plan is solidified, the journey to, step three, Utopia begins. This journey is an on going work in progress to not only reach the goals set in one’s Brutally Honest Life Plan, but to learn the critical skills of self evaluation as the journey unfolds. Most programs teach us how to set and achieve goals. While

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this is admirable, the reality is that no plan can be left unchecked. In the process of transcending through the Brutally Honest Life Plan, you are taught how to define, evaluate, re-evaluate and continue to improve

your life.”

Action Plan

Before there is any chance of moving forward successfully toward your new, compelling future, it is critical that you face your “FEAR” head on. You must visualize your concerns, make them not only real, but something that you can see, taste, smell, feel and hear. With every ounce of your being you MUST dive off the board head first without reservation. Once you have a clear picture of your FEAR, lets begin to break it down, one step at a time. What is FEAR really? Lets take a look, one letter at a time. Perhaps after you read through the following, you will have a different perspective as to the definition:

F acing the truth

E levating above self imposed barriers

A nticipating the path

R evving up your compelling future

“F”acing the truth

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Before you can attempt to break free of the economic chains that are holding you back, you must first face the truth as to how you arrived at your current place in life. Please understand before I move on, that I am making the assumption that if you are reading this, you have been adversely affected in one way or another by the tidal wave that hit our economy over the last several years. Some of you incurred only minor damage while others have been decimated. If you are one of the lucky ones that have not been adversely affected then I want to know what you did because you are amongst an incredibly small group of individuals. Even if you do exist, I would imagine that there are people close to you who have felt the wrath.

Facing the truth begins with taking personal accountability for your place in life. While there may have been many factors that contributed to your situation, you, and only you have the final blame. No matter what may have occurred, you contributed in some way. Even if you had no control over the event that caused the problem, you absolutely did have control over how you reacted to it. I am in no way downplaying the many other societal reasons why the economy imploded. Greedy bankers, lying Wall Street executives, rampant cheating and stealing, big banks threatening closing while others closed, mortgage defaults, greedy consumers that got over their head with real estate, the decline of the stock market, pensions eroding, 401(k)’s getting cut in half etc.

All of these things are real. They are terrible. They have caused many families to have their lives turned upside down overnight. Retirees forced to go back to work or delay retirement, record foreclosures forcing individuals out of their homes etc. “Facing the truth” however necessitates our ultimately putting

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everything into perspective and no matter how you look at the factors that lead to your situation, YOU must be at the top of the accountability list. I realize that many of you will take issue with this. I get it. I really do. When you are dealt a blow of monumental proportions we all want to blame others. I have. I did. There was a period that I simply did not want to look at my bank statements and portfolio avoiding the problem at all costs. I buried my head in the sand thinking that it would all go away.

Fortunately, I stuck to the very core of the Brutally Honest belief system, the journal. I journaled almost daily throughout the implosion recording how bad it felt, what I did wrong, what I should have done etc. Doing this caused me to not only take personal accountability for what went wrong, but also allowed me to focus on what had really happened. It allowed me to take inventory of what the perceived cause really was. Even if I did not find all of the reasons, I had a working template of the reason.

If you lost money in the stock market, why? Did you simply let your money stand stagnant? Could you have reallocated yearly to be better diversified? Could you have sold? Did you have too much in one stock?

Did you lose your job? Why? While it is possible that it was random downsizing, unless the company went out of business, there existed the possibility that you were let go based on your perceived value to the company when someone else may have remained because of a reason that resonated with the company.

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What could you have done differently? Perhaps the answer is nothing? Perhaps however it is “something”.

Did you lose your home? Why? Was it because of random, life events or was it due in at least part to something you did, or perhaps didn’t do.

Were you forced to postpone retirement? Why? Was it due to your employer or was it due in part to your choices with what you invested in, how you invested in, or whether you invested in your retirement fund.

In the lines below, list all of the negative things that the economy has caused to you and your immediate family:

_____ _

______

_____ _

______

How does that make you feel when you think of these things?

______

_____ _

______

List all of the People and Factors you believed caused these negative effects:

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_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

What was your estimated Net Worth 10 years ago?:

_ What was your estimated Net Worth 5 years ago?: _

What was your estimated Net Worth 3 years ago?:

_

What is your current Net Worth?: _ _

In the lines below, give a detailed, Brutally Honest, assessment of how you would describe your life at the current time:

_____ _

______

_____ _

What is going well or extremely well in your life right now?

_____ _

______

_____ _

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Who in your life is positively affecting you and your life? Why?

_____ _

_____ _

______

feel?

When you focus solely on the two questions above, how does that make you

- If only that mortgage broker told me that I could not really afford that new home;

- If only the management of the company I bought the stock in did their jobs, it wouldn’t have dropped;

- My broker should have told me to go to cash;

- My old employer is responsible for my current economic problems for letting me go. How dare they. After all, I showed up at work each day and did my job.

By saying the above reasons for the problems it makes us feel better about ourselves. It wasn’t my fault we say? Does this REALLY help however? Absolutely, unequivocally NO. No matter what you tell yourself about the reason for the situation, good, bad or indifferent, the reality however will always be that the PROBLEM still existed, it happened and the effects have been problematic. If we can agree on that, lets agree on something else. If we continue to do the exact same things that we did before, we will in all likelihood get the exact same results. Likewise, if we do not make a change in the future, we in all likelihood will be in the same place in the future. How then do we begin to turn the corner and break through these “self-imposed barriers?”

Step one we have already begun to do above. We listed our BELIEFS as to what caused our economic woes. We then learned that in order to make a

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break through we MUST be accountable and take personal responsibility for our life.

Take a look at the questions written above and see how changing a few words and the order can change the answer you get. See how you answer the questions below now with your newfound sense of responsibility and accountability:

In the lines below, list all of the negative things that you did to contribute to the resulting economic effects on you and your immediate family:

_____ _

______

_____ _

______

Part of the reason we blame others is because we tell ourselves that we don’t possess the ability to have done the things necessary to have predicted and/or avoided the situation. This faulty reasoning is due to our creating self-imposed barriers. These barriers are created by our minds to pacify us by telling us that there is a reason why we cannot do something. It creates an excuse that convinces us that we cannot do something about it. We cannot impact our destiny. Someone else is in control and we are just along for the ride. These are but a few of the countless barriers we place on ourselves.

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If we are to stand a chance of changing our current economic situation, we need to change our thinking. We need to tell ourselves that we can do the things that we use to say we could not. We need to find answers to things that we previously believed there was not an answer to. Take a look at the list we wrote earlier again with this new twist added to it:

- Thankfully I obtained enough information from many different sources to make fully informed decisions about what the various governmental agencies were telling me;

- I am so glad that I stuck to my budget and utilized the help of others (accountants, etc.) to talk me out of buying a home I knew I could not afford;

- Thankfully I was well diversified and although I lost money, it wasn’t as bad as those that did not;

- I did my own research and homework about my stocks with my brokers help which keep me out of troubled stocks;

- I have my job today because I have an outstanding work ethic. I exceeded the goals and expectations my boss had of me primarily because I always go above and beyond to accomplish my goals because it is the right thing to do. I live by my high standards and as a result, my employer recognized that in me. Others however

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simply did only what was expected of them. When it came time to lay off individuals, my name never came up.”

Looking back, what could you have done differently to avoid the problem(s)

that you listed as the reasons for your economic woes:

_____ _

______

__ ____

What self-imposed barriers did I have in my life that was holding me back?

_____ _

______

_____ _

How did these barriers affect my thinking?

_____ _

______

_____ _

What can I do today to destroy and/or change these self-imposed barriers?

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_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

By breaking down these barriers, how will that positively affect my life?

_____ _

______

__ ____

As I stated early on, this is not a get rich quick process. The thinking that most Americans had leading into the economic breakdown was faulty, it was wrong and it simply was a self fulfilling prophecy whereby we convinced ourselves that the reason the economy was doing so well was based on our supreme knowledge and skill. That faulty reasoning lead to many Americans taking un calculated risks that they believed did not have risk. Why? Because almost everything you did was working. Buy a stock today, it will double in a month. Real Estate values going through the roof? Jobs a plenty. Economy thriving. With this belief system then, why not double and triple the risk that we took the next time around and get two or three times the results? We became accustomed to getting fast, instantaneous at times increases to our net worth. Of course it was due to our stellar knowledge. As the old saying goes however, what goes up...must come down. Here however it plummeted like a feather with 1000 pound weights added to it.

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By changing this faulty thinking and replacing it with newfound, reasonable thinking, we can break down the barriers that have been put in the way of our attaining a compelling, rewarding future. If you would envision these barriers as large walls that we could not see through or around. By a change in perception and reality, we begin to initially chip through these walls, gain momentum and eventually rise to pounding on them with a sledge hammer and ultimately plowing through them with a bulldozer. Once the walls have been destroyed, we can begin to see the new path ahead and begin to forge our

compelling future filled with abundance.

“A”nticipating the path

Once you have assessed the past, took inventory of the “WHY” you are in your current situation, it is time to create both a compelling vision for the future and build the path to the attainment of same...one brick at a time. As we saw, many individuals got caught up in the greed filled environment of wanting to get rich quickly. In so doing, they forgot conventional wisdom, forgot the tried and true rules, decided that they had expertise that they did not, relied on so called experts that had little or no experience and/or simply were caught up themselves in a fantasy world full of self centered, egotistical and self-destructive ways.

As we have also determined, regardless of what society may have been doing, the ultimate gate keepers as to what we do, what advice we take, who we listen to, how much, when and where is ourselves. Not the experts, not your broker, agent, neighbor, relative, friend or any other individuals we want to blame. We, and we alone. As mentioned in the introduction, Brutally Honest is

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comprised of a three-step process that is unique and different from conventional self help programs. In step one, the breakdown phase, we go backwards, BEFORE we go forward towards our goals. We descend to the magical place called “Souls Core.” On this descent, we shed all of life’s stereotypes. We get rid of what our brother’s, sister’s, aunt, uncle, neighbor, television, leaders may be suggesting and ultimately find ourselves ALONE with ourselves, our decisions, and thoughts. It is here, and only here that we say you are ready to develop YOUR compelling future.

In the first two steps above (Letters “F” and “E” of the word FEAR, you in fact have arrived at this place. This assumes that you were Honest with yourself...Brutally Honest! By taking personal accountability for your current place in this economy you have been honest with yourself and the world. NOW, and only now can you truly develop YOUR path to financial security in the new economy.

OK, so where do we go from here. Well, remember, going forward this time we want to do the things that will increase the chance of success and avoid those things that will cause us additional problems. In a perfect world we would simply envision a straight line beginning where we are currently going forward toward our biggest goals. While that would be great, we know that type of dreaming is not realistic. If you weren’t aware before, you, like the rest of the world is aware now that what we think will happen simply doesn’t always work that way. That was one of the central most lessons that the recent past has taught us. With the extreme volatility of this economy we now have a newfound respect

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for conventional thoughts. We now question whether gravity still exists where in the past we would have taken it for granted. This healthy respect for the economy will serve us well going forward this time around.

At its most basic, as you build your path forward, you will use those things from your past that have worked well and continue to use them to push you toward your goals. Likewise, you will also avoid those things from your past that have caused you problems and inflicted pain. You will further try to use the past to help you predict and anticipate as many inevitable hurdles that you can think about. By envisioning these things now you will no doubt eliminate many of them from occurring. Is this overly simple? Yes. Actually what you should be asking is WHY is it simple? In the old economy when everything you did worked, there was no reason to perform this type of futuristic analysis. Everything we touched turned to gold. All we had to do was be in the game, play all out and we were rewarded. Logic and analysis went out the window. Now, in the new economy, after learning that this past reasoning was flawed, we now MUST take the time to plan, analyze, focus and use as many different tools that we can to give us the best possible chance of success in the future. Will this guarantee success? Absolutely not. It will however tremendously increase the odds.

This is probably a great time to add a point of clarification. When I say to you the phrase “becoming wealthy,” what do you think of? If you are like the majority of Americans, and foreigners for that matter, you think of money. You equate wealth with money. While your definition is your definition, I would respectfully suggest to you at least thinking of another possibility. Wealth can

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mean many more things than simply money. For me, wealth has many different levels. Think of a bulls eye if you will. At the center of my definition of wealth is the love and respect of my Family. The next ring would be my health, then my closest friends and so on, and so on. Don’t get me wrong, money is a necessary requirement in the world as it allows us to do things that we otherwise may not be able to do. However, if you have money at the center of your world, ask yourself why? Whether your religious or not there has been a confusion as to the saying about money. Many think “money is the root of all evil.” This is incorrect. It actually says “the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.” Money is but one tool that allows us to be wealthy.

In my profession as a Family Law Attorney, I see every day the horror stories of this faulty thinking going bad. I have seen countless examples of individuals seemingly having it all. Money, great spouse, great family, big homes, extreme net worth and then due to too many reasons to list, they decided this was not good enough. They then made poor decisions that caused the whole house to come crumbling down. Greed, temptation, perceived boredom and looking for the next level of excitement without taking time to see what was right in front of them. Almost overnight they now found themselves in states of depression, loss, anxiety and a whole host of emotions. Likewise, the innocent spouse and family are forced to pick up the pieces and move on.

In the lines below, rank your top five definitions of “wealth” with one representing your highest:

1) _

2) _

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3) _

4) _

5) _

Why did you rank them the way you did?

______

_____ _

______

Next, in developing your compelling future, it is important to have an extremely clear vision of what your most ideal future looks like. For purposes of defining this at Brutally Honest, we take 10 years in the future as the point to develop your “Brutally Honest Target Zones”. We will assume that you will be alive and thriving ten years from now, and beyond and beyond. What will actually happen only the big guy upstairs knows. As we said earlier, it’s easier to hit a stationary target than a moving target. Take a few minutes and visualize what your most ideal life looks like ten years in the future.

- Where are you living?

- With who?

- How is your health?

- Are you exercising?

- What types?

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- Are you working?

- Where?

- What is your title/job duties?

- Are you retired?

- Where?

- What is your net worth?

- What does it consist of?

- Investments?

- Savings?

- Real Estate?

- Businesses?

- Retirement plans?

- Other?

- Are you married?

- How long

- What is your relationship like?

- Do you have Children/Grandchildren?

- How Many?

- What is your relationship like?

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- What are your hobbies?

- Who are your friends?

- What impact have you had on the world?

- Was it good/bad, why

These are but a few of the endless things that you can visualize. Remember, it’s your visualization. Have fun with it. Be creative. Be open, honest and create a highly visible picture in your mind. See it, colorize it, taste it, smell it...be it!

In the lines below, write a concise summary of your most idealistic life ten years in the future:

_____ _

______

_____ _

_____ _

______

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

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In the following lines, write why you MUST achieve this vision:

______

_____ _

______

How will your life and that of your families be different WHEN you achieve this vision:

_____ _

______

_____ _

As you move forward toward your vision, it is possible that you can reach your outcome alone. However, with each additional member you add to your team and with each additional advisor and resource you add, your odds of success increases tremendously. This assumes however that each one of these resources is actually positive and beneficial and adds value to your quest. You are as good as those you surround yourself with. In the Brutally Honest Life Management journal we write about surrounding yourself with individuals that genuinely want you to succeed and get to the next level. By both obtaining mentors you can rely on and constantly striving to learn, you will place yourself in a much better position for successfully obtaining your goals. When obtaining mentors, be ultra

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respectful of their time and efforts that they are imparting on you. You should also do your best to add value to them as well. You should also pass on your knowledge and mentor others. By teaching others you yourself continue to learn

and grow and reinforce old rules that you may have forgot.

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(Pages 1-41 show above.)